This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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