the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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