Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
