god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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