so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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