just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
