do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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