You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
