Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The feeling are messing with the penis
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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