I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
