she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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