She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
