Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
