Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
