How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
