Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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