i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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