A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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