I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
