New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
