Moan for me like Helen Keller
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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