Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
