Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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