Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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