Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
