Where is the hickey?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
