I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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