and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize