What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
