There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
