Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
