Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
