just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
