we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
