no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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