Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it was like eating out sand paper
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
