I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
