I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
