I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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