Soap is not a condiment
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
