i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
