You're so nebulous sometimes
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
