i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
