who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
