how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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