I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
