Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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