I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
