Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
