I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
