she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
