Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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