i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
