Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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