im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Less talking, more tequila
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize