yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
