I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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