So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
