I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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