Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
