i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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