I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
