ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize