whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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