Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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