I'm drive I can fine osifer
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
