He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
