dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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