He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
