It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize