yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
